Santa Claus was awakened from his offseason hiatus by an overload of joy coming from #packernation earlier today. The love and goodwill coming from Packers fans peaked with sightings of Jordy Nelson on a bike on his way to training camp and set off his Christmas bells, causing Kris Kringle to think he had missed Christmas.
“We loaded the sleigh and got here in record time.” said Kringle, mopping his forehead with his tasseled hat and sipping on a cup of eggnog. “We have filters for Packers training camp but the sighting of Jordy Nelson spiked the Joyometer about 3.2 kilojoys beyond anything we’ve seen since Wal Mart sent free Cabbage Patch Kids to inner city LosAngeles in 1986. We’ll re-calibrate but suffice it to say…you Packers fans gave me a scare! Oh! Ho! Ho! Ho”
Santa was more than happy to call off the false-alarm Christmas as his toy-makers were nowhere close to being ready to serve toys to the whole world in July.
“Packernation is worldwide…we had blips all over the place…Mrs. Claus was like ‘This is NOT a drill! and I took her word for it,” added the rosy saint, taking a puff on his pipe and adding to the smoke that encircled his head like a wreath. Rudolph had his game face on…we don’t mess around! Apparently…neither do Packers fans! Aaaah ha ha ha!”
While he was in Green Bay, Santa said he had plans to visit the Titletown District and get ahead on Christmas wishes from some of the local boys and girls. When asked if he planned to do any site seeing, Claus responded…”I’ll drop some coin at the Packers Pro Shop and get my picture taken with Aaron.”