#5 – Eli Manning passes a kidney stone and feels that’s all the passing he can muster for one week #4 – In a state of confusion the Giants defensive line takes themselves out of out of every play pursuing
#5 – During visualization exercises where he visualizes himself in plays, Ray Rice suffers a concussion. #4 – There is a bit of a misunderstanding when Vonta Leach tells local prostitute he’d like to go out and get some crabs.
#5 – They haven’t signed enough used up ex-Packers #4 – The Vikings have not been ready for a season of NFL play since the “Purple People Eaters” got hopped up on grape popsicles and started a riot in downtown
Roger Goodell suffers a concussion and is replaced by Gisele Bundchen The Lions intend to use their first pick on Ziggy Ansah and mistakenly select Zygi Wilf.
#5 – They’ll need someone to replace Gerrard when he’s fallen and he can’t get up. #4 – Mark Sanchez can continue to use the phrase, “At least I’m better than Tebow.”